There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
