dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
