I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
i out mim tonsoeep
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