The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
