when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
