I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
