it wasn't lemon gatorade
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Can I color on your dick again?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
