Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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