North Korea, Best Korea!
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
