i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
