Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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