Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
