Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
