So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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