that's an acceptable place to lick
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize