ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
