Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
