Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
