Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
