I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
