paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
