piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
