from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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