Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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