i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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