u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
jump out the window naked night went bad
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