i just had sex bonerless
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
