Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
