oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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