Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
