is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
