East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
