just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
