did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
