I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize