ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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