question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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