moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Randomize
