you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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