Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
