the new term for farting is butt boxing.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
