You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
