nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
