people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
