bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
