So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
