Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
