We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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