My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
