grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
